Some employers offer benefits to employees who adopt. This may include new paid or unpaid parental leave and, in some cases, financial support to help you pay for some of your adoption costs. Read what the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adadoption offers the best adoption-friendly workplaces, then talk to your employer`s human resources department to see what they could offer you. Other factors, such as the timing of placement during the summer holidays, the holiday holidays or at the end of a school semester, will be taken into account to help them move more easily from their current internship to your family. Between the time you bring your adopted child home and the time the adoption is legalized by the court, the clerk or child`s agent must see you and talk to you and your child at least once every 30 days. This is commonly referred to as the post-placement care phase. It is important that you make room in your schedule for clerk visits and actively participate in them. This is because until adoption is legalized, the child`s agency is responsible for ensuring that the child`s needs for safety, consistency and well-being are met. The reports that the child`s clerk prepares for the court include an assessment of the willingness to legalize the adoption. While your clerk and your child`s clerk will continue to be available by phone during this placement period, the 30-day visits are a great opportunity for you to discuss any issues you have encountered and ask questions about the remaining steps in the adoption process.
It is natural that you are cautious and even experience moments of doubt during the post-adoption follow-up phase. Using the adoption support system you`ve built during this trip as a sounding board for any pre-legalization concerns you may have will help you distinguish the natural feelings people have at this point from those that are indicators that legalization should be delayed. Almost all adoptive placements of foster children lead to legalized adoptions because you, your social worker, your child`s clerk and agency, as well as the court responsible for the child, have been thoughtful and professional and have openly shared information throughout the process. If you kept a journal throughout the adoption process (or even if you didn`t), it may be important for you and your adopted child to write a letter to your new child describing the day and your feelings about it, and then save that letter to share with them on that day`s birthdays or other special occasions. Videos or still photos are another way to capture this event. If you have other children, whether you are already an adult or still living at home, it is important to include them in the planning, just as it is important to include your new child in the planning, taking into account his age and level of development. If you live in the same community as the child you are adopting, you should consider whether it is in their best interest to continue with their doctor, dentist and other current medical and treatment providers, or to take them to providers with whom your family has established relationships. This is an important thing to discuss with your child`s social worker. Of course, if your home is geographically distant from the child`s current location, you should identify the providers in your area and ask the child`s social worker to transfer the appropriate records.
Medical assistance is another public service to which most children adopted into foster care systems are eligible. The process of access to this benefit varies from state to state, as well as when the child is adopted by a family in another state. Learn about post-adoption resources that can be available to your child. Be sure to work closely with your own social worker and the child`s social worker to ensure you fully understand the process of negotiating the terms of an adoption support agreement. Even if the child is not eligible for a continuous monthly subsidy or you refuse it, you should consider signing an adoption support agreement with the public authority that has custody of the child. This is a legally binding agreement that leaves the door open for you to renegotiate the terms and amounts in certain circumstances until the child reaches the standard age (determined by the child`s country of origin) at which adoption assistance ends. As an adoptive parent, you may be eligible for other public benefits, such as .B a federal or state tax credit. Ask your clerk if your state offers an adoption tax credit. If so, find out how and when to apply. It is important that you actively participate, directly or indirectly through your clerk, in planning visits before the internship and that you are as flexible as possible.
Ask your clerk who will cover costs such as travel, meals and accommodation. If you have to pay these costs out of your own pocket, be sure to ask if they can be reimbursed through the single part of adoption assistance. If they can be reimbursed, be sure to keep receipts and a good record of expenses. Remember to talk to the child and their clerk about any special interests they may have and activities such as scouting, sports or music that they are already involved in or want to be involved in. Helping the child socialize early in the adoptive position can make you feel like a member of your family and the community at large. If written information about the child`s activities and interests was not fully included in the child`s profile, pre-internship visits can be a good time to explore the child`s interests with the child, his clerk and his foster parents. The first weeks or months after placement are commonly referred to as the «honeymoon» of adoption. Usually, but not always, it is a time marked by the best behavior of all family members. Sometimes, among other children who are already in the family, there may be expressions of resentment when you think there should only be happiness and goodwill. It is important to pay close attention to the feelings of each family member, talk about them and take care of them.
Remember that the introduction of a new person into the family constellation means that all existing family relationships will change. The more involved you are in the adoption decision and the better prepared all your family members are, the easier it will be to manage as a natural part of the family life cycle. It is important to schedule visits before placing the child in your home, the child`s foster family, or a neutral location. The time and place of visits and the number of visits will be adjusted for each adoption, taking into account the age and phase of development of the child, the child`s and family`s schedules, distance and other factors. One thing that often surprises adoptive families is the child`s sudden shyness, withdrawal, or skepticism when placement finally takes place. Especially for older children who have experienced multiple foster family moves, they have every reason to doubt that this move is really the last and that it is their permanent family and home. It is important not to take this reaction personally. Make sure your new child has a neutral third party, para. B example his social worker or a counselor with whom he can share his feelings is something you should plan. Even if the child is not entitled to a current monthly allowance or if you refuse it, reimbursement of certain adoption-related expenses may be possible up to a maximum amount determined by the child`s country of origin. Although the refund will only be made after the adoption is legalized, find out what you need to do to apply for this benefit as soon as possible after you have been notified that you have been selected as the child`s adoptive family. Whether it`s months or weeks, the honeymoon phase ends predictably, sometimes when you least expect it.
Part of your adopted child`s developmental task is to test the boundaries, as if you were asking, «Where is the limit of what I can do before they come to move me again?» It`s not about you, it`s about the impact your child`s life experiences have had on them. Children in foster care have often had to move for reasons unrelated to them. Nevertheless, they may think it was their fault. Understanding this can help you react with patience and compassion when your adopted child pushes the boundaries or starts testing. .